I'm gonna have a badass scar
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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