Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize