i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
it's like heaven, but drunker
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
