And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I supernannyed him into submission
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
