Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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