As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
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