bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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