im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize
