We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
