the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
