Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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