Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
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