make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
so much tequila, so little girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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