dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
