Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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