She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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