we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize