We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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