Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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