We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
