u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
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