Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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