im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
You had me at "let me see your balls"
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Randomize
