I wish i was in the wii world.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
we should paint friendship bongs
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
