Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
