so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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