Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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