My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
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