so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
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