I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
