who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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