some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
