Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
