so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
