I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize
