you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Help. Why am I so naked?
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