You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
lets start a swedish sibling band together
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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