Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
