I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
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