You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
