I hate your face
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize