He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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