i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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