1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
