apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
