mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
The beer is more important than you right now.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Randomize