you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
