I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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