Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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