Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
