We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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