I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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