Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
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