even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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