Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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