She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Randomize
