ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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