She's JV to your varsity
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
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