Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
